Rumbly in My Tumbly Is Only Cute When Pooh Says It

You would think I would be use to digestive “issues” by now. Really, it’s nothing new. I’ve said before that I have an anxiety problem and always have. What’s the first reaction to stress and anxiety? Tummy trouble. Or at least historically it has been for me. I remember being a little kid and having to make the urgent runs (no pun intended) several times before some big event. As I’ve grown into adulthood, that’s improved some along with my ability to deal with temporarily stressful situations. At this point in my adult life I am over being embarrassed by bodily functions. I work in residential care. I’ve seen/smelt/cleaned a wide variety of bodily fluids. Everybody pees, poops, and farts. Get over it. That doesn’t make it socially acceptable to cut a loud one in a crowded elevator, but if you let one slip on a deserted aisle at Walmart and quickly wander off, it will be ok. (Hey, it is Walmart after all).

Lactose Intolerance is a family trait. I inherited it at age 19. I thought I was dying of bowel cancer. My Dad laughed out loud and told me to stop having the milkshake with lunch everyday and see what happened. Oh. Dad’s a smart guy. Thankfully, I don’t have a really severe case of LI, and it’s actually gotten better since that summer I was 19. I still avoid any real amount of dairy in social situations. Just because I’m not embarrassed by bodily functions doesn’t mean I should force other people to have to deal with them. But I’ve lived with limited dairy for so long now, it’s just part of life.

Part of life. Sigh. So is gas and bloating and indigestion any more. It seems to be creeping back up on me after years of dormancy. One day it’s complete nausea from the acid or indigestion and another it’s the after dinner bloat that makes me look 6 months pregnant. (Boy if that isn’t a downside to loosing weight! The “food baby”  bloat has no place to hide now).  I just know you love hearing about my digestive disorders 😉 But honestly, a blog about health and fitness (especially one written by me) is going to cover this dirty little secret sometimes. Diet is a huge part of controlling digestive disorders, so if you ever think my food choices seem a little off, just chalk it up to an off GI day. What goes in must come out, right? And, hey, I know you poop too. It’s ok. Relax.

I’ve had my GI system checked out and there is thankfully nothing seriously wrong. Stress is undoubtably a factor. I’ve not slept well at all the last 2 nights despite going to bed early and I can tell it in every system of my body (hello midmorning migraine). The only conclusion drawn is one I’ve heard before, IBS. I have to say that that is one of the worst names for a disorder ever in my book. Just says ewww. Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Can’t they call it something cooler? IDK what, Unhappy Gut? Alternating Poop Cycle Disease? Intestinal Displeasure? Something, anything, other than Irritable Bowel Syndrome! Don’t get me wrong, I am very, very, very, a million times very, grateful that I do not have a more serious condition. It’s just that Irritable Bowel just sounds gross. My bowels are not irritable. Old men are irritable. My bowels just need a little more TLC than some people (and something like 10% of the population has this BTW!) Irritable Bowel Syndrome makes me feel almost as old as when I write Miralax on the shopping list, or worse, get really excited over a coupon for the stuff. Old Age strikes again.

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